I don't know why I limit myself so much and then complain about what I am not able to do. For example, I was to meet with a guy tonight for a casual "date". It was all planned out and my house was super tidy! It still is. Only no one else will see that tonight because today at lunch I discovered I had no money in the bank, and my plans of getting snacks and such to entertain said guy went straight down the toilet with my mood. Upon discovering my insufficient funds, I promptly cancelled the date because if everything cannot be as I pictured it, why bother?
Now yes, I realize that the guy probably wouldn't have given a rat's ass about what snacks I had laying about, but because one thing did not fall into place as I thought it would, I force myself to forget the whole thing. Luckily the guy I was meeting was nice about it.
I do this to myself in other areas of life as well, not just in my romantic life. I found out today that I really don't make enough money to live in the apartment I love so much, and that if I don't start making more money soon I will be struggling like I am right now for many more years to come. I refuse to get a room mate because I like living alone and love my privacy. My current boss certainly will not be offering up a raise anytime soon, and so far my attempts at freelance writing have gone nowhere. So here I am limiting myself again.
Maybe I should just be a suicide girl. http://www.suicidegirls.com to people who don't know this site, no I am not threatening to kill myself. Hah. Have a nice day.
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